


Where I Can Only Hope to Follow

by drunknpylades



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Boy Kissing, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-27
Updated: 2014-09-27
Packaged: 2018-02-18 23:47:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2366447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drunknpylades/pseuds/drunknpylades
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You know he’s in love with you, right?"</p><p>This wasn’t supposed to be happening. Australia was supposed to fix things. To make everything clear and give them both the push they needed to find their own dreams.</p><p>It wasn’t supposed to be… This.</p><p> </p><p>Author's Notes at end of chapter</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where I Can Only Hope to Follow

Australia had been everything he’d hoped it would be. It was warmth and freedom and everything he remembered. He’d wanted to show Haru what it was like, show him what was waiting outside Iwatobi if he would just open his eyes and look.

It hadn’t been easy.

Haru fought him every step of the way. He was tense, confrontational where he would usually be stoic and uncaring. Something had happened back home and Rin had been determined to make the other boy forget about it. At least for a little while.

Not everything had been resolved, of course. It would take more than a whirlwind trip out of the country to fix all their problems. But a weight had seemed to slide off Haru’s shoulders and Rin’s own seemed lighter for it.

Coming home now was almost strange after being away, just the two of them for so long. It had only been a week but it seemed like ages.

"I should talk to Makoto," Haru said softly.

Rin looked over and everything about the other boy’s posture read defeat. There was a determined light in his eyes that made him smile. “Ah, you two have a few decisions to make.”

He had his own choices that needed to be made, but one thing at a time. In his mind he had to get Haru straightened out before he could turn his thoughts inward.

"Are you going to meet up with Yamazaki?"

That was the question of the year wasn’t it? Sousuke had told him that he shouldn’t worry, but that seemed to be all he found himself doing. Was giving up on his dream and working with his father really what the other boy wanted to do with his life? Rin couldn’t believe that. Not after everything Sousuke had given up chasing that international stage.

It wasn’t his place to meddle, not really, but it was his duty as a friend to speak his mind. Sousuke deserved to hear it from him that he didn’t want his friend giving up just yet. Australia had opened his eyes to a lot more than just his future. It had made him see that swimming, even with Haru, just wasn’t the same without his best friend at his side.

"He’ll be coming back from his dad’s tomorrow. We’ll talk then." It gave Rin more than enough time to think about what exactly he was going to say when he finally saw Sousuke again.

"Good. Do you mind walking me back to Makoto’s?" _So I don’t talk myself out of it and run home?_

Rin heard what Haru wasn’t saying and grinned, throwing his arm around the smaller swimmer’s shoulders. “Of course. I took you away, so it’s only fair that I return you.”

———

In hindsight, stepping into Makoto’s house after the doorbell had gone unanswered probably wasn’t the best course of action. In their defense both Rin and Haru were both still running mostly on adrenaline and Haru’s need to fix things before he lost his nerve.

It was their own fault they walked in on the scene now played out in front of them in bright technicolor.

Makoto was sitting at the table, legs folded under him and reading something with one hand. His other hand was in his lap, fingers carding through dark hair.

Rin’s heart stopped in his chest.

Sousuke was curled around Makoto like a comma, head in the Iwatobi swimmer’s lap and his arms around his waist.

One of them must have made some kind of sound, because the next thing Rin was aware of was startled green eyes pinning them in place. As if Rin could have moved even if he wanted to. His legs were frozen. Every muscle in his body refusing to listen to his command to turn and run.

"Rin, H-Haru… You’re back."

Sousuke’s shoulders had twitched as soon as Makoto had started speaking. Rin’s eyes caught on the movement and watched, heart in his throat as Sousuke curled impossibly tighter around the boy in his arms.

"Just now." It seemed Haru had found his voice. "I need to talk to you."

Thank god for Haru and his absolute lack of tact. Rin didn’t think he could have spoken at that moment if his life depended on it.

Makoto looked startled. His eyes darted to the burden in his lap, pain etched in the lines of his face, but Rin knew in that moment that he’d give in. Makoto always gave in where Haru was concerned. Those long fingers tugged at Sousuke’s hair and Rin had to look away at the deep rumbling sound of protest the move drew from the Samezuka boy.

Something in his chest tightened and he could feel his eyes starting to burn. For some inexplicable reason he felt as if he’d just lost something he never really had in the first place.

Makoto looked up again, face more serious than Rin had ever seen. “Wait outside?”

——-

Nothing made sense anymore. Australia was supposed to fix things. To make everything clear and give them both the push they needed to find their own dreams.

It had done that. Or so he had thought. Everything had been fine, better than fine, until they had come home. The happy haze Australia had cast over everything had been shattered the minute they stepped into Makoto’s house.

What had Sousuke been doing there? He was supposed to be with his dad, waiting for Rin to come home so they could finally go back to being what they’d been before. Rin had finally decided to fix the tension between them and it seemed that Souske had found something else to fill the void Rin had left in him.

"You know he’s in love with you, right?"

"What?" There was no way he’d heard that right.

"It’s true." Haru’s voice was calm, almost emotionless. Rin knew better. "He told me before we left. Not in so may words, but people always assume that just because I seem indifferent means that I can’t read someone else’s feelings. Yamazaki loves you."

The wall against his back was the only thing holding him up. With those few words Haru had taken Rin’s entire worldview and tilted it on its axis. Sousuke couldn’t love him. Not like how Haru was implying. Could he?

Suddenly every interaction they’d had since Sousuke had come back into his life was called into question. Had that look just been fond, or was it loving? Had that touch been friendly, or lingering? What was he supposed to do now?

"You can go in now, Nanase."

That voice ran across his skin like electricity, straightening his back and drawing his eyes like a moth to flame.

Sousuke wasn’t looking at him at all.

Haru simply nodded, shoulders squared and eyes set as he walked back inside. In any other situation the determination in that small frame might have been comical, but Rin wasn’t in the mood to laugh.

Time stretched on for what seemed like hours before Sousuke finally sighed. “I’m heading back to the dorm.”

Those words kick started something in Rin’s gut and he reached out without thinking, catching the other boy’s wrist in his trembling grip. “Wait!”

Sousuke still wasn’t looking at him.

"I-I thought you went back to your dad’s. Why are you-?"

"I couldn’t go home." Sousuke interrupted. There was a tremor in his voice that Rin didn’t want to identify.

_You know he’s in love with you right?_

"Why?"

"Because you’re there!" The words were spit at him like they physically hurt to say. Sousuke whirled on him, big hands on his shoulders slamming him up against the wall of Makoto’s house and holding him there.

"You’re in every corner of that place. I can see you on the street, in the house, on the train. Your reflection in every shop window reminding me that you’d left me behind again!"

Rin’s eyes widened, shocked to see tears gathering in the corners of Sousuke’s eyes.

"You were gone and Tachibana… Makoto knew what it felt like. We’d both been abandoned and we- I just needed-"

_Yamazaki loves you._

Rin kissed him. Before he could think of the consequences. He reached up to frame Sousuke’s face between his hands and dragged him down.

There was salt on his lips from the tears that had finally slipped free and Rin didn’t care at all. He needed Sousuke to know that he hadn’t been abandoned. Australia hadn’t been running away. It had been him putting his priorities in order.

The hands on his shoulders loosened and slid to the crook of his elbows. Sousuke kissed like a drowning man breathing air. Like this was his salvation and it could be grabbed away at any moment. Rin had to make him understand.

"Sousuke…" He tugged the taller boy back, wiping away tears with his thumb. "I didn’t go to Australia to leave you behind."

"Then why?" Sousuke asked. "Why take Nanase and go without saying anything?"

Rin could feel himself blushing and he looked away. “I didn’t want you to get your hopes up.”

Sousuke sniffed, hands tightening on Rin’s arms. “Get my hopes up? Rin, what are you talking about?”

"I didn’t want to tell you until I was sure but," he hesitated. This was big. He’d gone behind Sousuke’s back and put things in motion that affected both their futures. "A university in Australia wanted to see me swim in person, and I needed to make sure they would still be willing to offer me a spot if I took a year off."

"A year off? Rin, why take a year off?" The look of confusion on Sousuke’s face made his guts clench. How could the idiot not know how much he meant to him?

It was then that Rin realized he’d never told him. He’d never said in words just how important Sousuke had become to him. That was going to change. He was going to make it obvious just how he felt. And if he had to say it every day for the rest of their lives then that was what he was going to do.

"Because you need time to heal, idiot. They’re willing to give you a look on my word, after your shoulder heals up." Sousuke’s hands were trembling on his arms. "No guarantees, but I know you’ll knock ‘em-"

Sousuke’s mouth on his silenced anything else he’s been about to say.

Once they were both sufficiently breathless Sousuke drew back and dropped his head to Rin’s shoulder. “Don’t ever do that again.”

"Do what?" Rin couldn’t help being a bit of a brat now that he knew they were going to be alright. "Don’t go off securing our futures so we can both keep swimming together?"

Sousuke’s laugh was a little watery bit Rin pretended not to notice.

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first attempt at Sourin, and Free! altogether. Let me know what you think!
> 
> And come say hi on tumblr if you feel the need. I tend to ramble a lot about these swimming boys and their endless love. I'm jinbeizame-kun


End file.
